Today is a significant day. It's my mom's birthday and it's a big deal. It's her last year in her 50's and I wanted to make it special. I had plans to bring her breakfast, take her to lunch, make her laugh and feel important all day until ultimately taking her to the Grand Finale at the bowling alley where everyone would be gathered to celebrate her. But instead I woke up sprawled out in the most comfortable bed in the whole world. Wrapped up in my cozy blankets and knowing that I wouldn't even see her today.
When I awoke, I didn't feel guilty at all. That was all nonsense that came about before I came out here (probably to try to stop me from coming). I knew almost as soon as I felt the twinge of shame, that my mom would give up her birthday all together if it meant me growing closer with God and stepping further into what He has for me. She's amazing like that.
Nonetheless, I felt it important to celebrate, so I ate my favorite chocolate donuts for breakfast. Here's to you, Mama! I had a bit of a backache, so I decided to take a walk. The late morning was beautiful. The sky was cloudy, but the sun found a way to peek through anyways. As I walked a road I had traveled probably a million times, I came upon a small trail that I never noticed before. What the heck, right? The bears and cannibals didn't get me yesterday...
I walked the trail until it came to a small inlet that led to Rock Lake. It looked like maybe people had used this trail to drop small boats or kayaks into the water. It was strange and hidden and beautiful. I looked past the inlet to the lake and that's when God nudged me. It was like He was saying, "wouldn't it be fun to go out in the kayak?" Anyone who knows me well knows I have an irrational fear of bodies of water. (Basically every one of my fears are irrational. The good news is that I know this- making me not crazy, right??) I have this vivid imagination that convinces me that Jaws is most certainly living there. If not Jaws, then some kind of awful man-eating lake monster. Alright, God. Has this turned into a fear facing adventure? Will there be giant toads in my kayak too?!
I head back to tackle this mountain. I crossed the street and after walking a little ways, I came across another hidden trail. This trail I was vaguely familiar with, and knew it would lead me to the back end of the campground. I'm clearly feeling adventurous, so I take the trail. I come across a small dock, half way collapsed into the tiny lake we lovingly refer to as "Mud Lake". I can't imagine why anyone would choose to go into this mosquito infested mud pit, but maybe it's a hidden gem? Maybe there's more to it than meets the eye? Maybe there's a lesson to be learned here? Anyway... I continue on and eventually come to my charming camper once again.
As soon as I get there I begin to argue with God. Darnit, well I guess I can't go kayaking. I don't have Mike's truck here to bring the boat to the landing. Shoot.
Yeah. I hardly got the thought through my mind when "I can use the golf cart!" decided to pop it's way in there. Great. A solution. Ok, let's do this. I grab the kayak and I bungee it to the back of the golf cart. It's then that Mike shows up to grab the propane tanks to go switch them out. (Maybe it's cause God has me looking through some Holy Spirit lenses, or maybe cause it's been a couple days- but dang. This man is smokin hot! I am one lucky lady.)
He is wonderful and figures out all the propane mess and he and I both head off in different directions. Him to the store for more propane, and me to certain death. Ok... I'm kidding. Obviously I didn't die.
I get to the lake and I unload the boat only to realize I forget a life jacket. I don't really need one, right? I mean. I probably won't fall in the water.... unless a lake monster overturns my boat. Ok, I gotta go grab a life jacket. I head back and on the way pass this beautiful and kind looking woman I had never seen before. She was just going for a walk and was heading back toward the main camp area. I smiled and she waved back. Hmm.
I grab my life saver and I head to the boat landing. Only now there are people there. Watching me. I have to play it cool. Don't freak out, Sarah. Act like you do this all the time. (In reality, guys, I have literally done this one other time- got so freaked out that I rowed one little loop and immediately came right back into shore. It was possibly the scariest 5 minutes of my life.) "Have fun!" one of the strangers calls to me as I climb into the shaky tiny floating death trap. I smile and assure her that I will... After about 5 minutes of trying to pry myself far enough out in the water, I am actually floating and not scraping the bottom of the boat landing anymore. I start to row.
The water is surprisingly peaceful. Serene. Calm waters to calm my anxious spirit. The further out into the lake I get, the more calm I become. The more confident I become. The fears and worries melt away and I am reminded of Abraham. See, God knew Abraham was faithful and dedicated to Him, but He needed to know that Abraham was willing to give up anything and everything for God. So God told Abraham to sacrifice his son. His promised son. You know, the one he waited 100 years to have? The one he hoped and prayed for decade after decade until he was finally a ridiculously old man? Abraham probably didn't like this. Not even a little bit. But he took his precious promise and he led him high onto the mountain and he tied him and laid him on the altar. He grabbed his knife and raised it to finally fulfill the command God had given him. It wasn't until that moment that God stopped Abraham and commended him on his faithful obedience. God brought Abraham a ram to sacrifice in Issac's place. Abraham named that sacred place "The Lord Will Provide". Genesis tells us that to this day it is said "On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided."
Well here I was. In the middle of a lake where God told me to be. I didn't want to go, but I obeyed anyway. I was scared until I was all the way in the water. It wasn't until I fully stepped into what God said before I felt peace and comfort. I had to trust Him, even in my fear. Even in my doubt. The Lord Will Provide. On the lake of the Lord it will be provided.
I would like to say that I hung out there for hours and soaked up all of God's peace and beauty. Honestly, I did soak it up! I stopped rowing several times to just sit and enjoy the setting. But then the rain came. It was only a little sprinkle that I tried praying away. It paused for a bit, but then seemed to pick up. I think God was done with this lesson. So I rowed myself back in and went back to the camper just in time to see my gorgeous man driving away. We stopped and chatted a bit before he drove off and I went in to take a hot shower with my full propane tank.
** I really didn't want to fail to mention this, so here it is. My campground keeps turkeys in a turkey pen over near the boat landing. There's always a male and a female that Hazel has named Joel and Lizzy (the boy is Lizzy and the girl is Joel) after some of her favorite YouTube personas. Every year they have little baby turkeys, and earlier this season Joel was spending all of her time sitting patiently on some eggs that had turned rotten. It was so sad and pitiful. I felt so awful for Joel. I don't even know if she has feelings, but I imagine if she does- they were hurting. So imagine my delight when I head back from my lake adventure and happen upon 3 little baby turkeys chasing Joel around and making the sweetest little peeping noises! Sweet Mama Joel gets to be a mama again. Congratulations Joel and Lizzy!
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