Warning: Super controversial***

Ok, so I want to address something that most Christians want to avoid. In my life, I can't avoid it, and frankly I don't want to anymore. You ready? Here goes...

Some of you may know already that I have two sisters. Both are amazing women. Incredible moms and wonderful sisters. One of them happens to be in love with a woman. Does this change things? Does this effect our relationship? Well, honestly, it did for many years. There was a wall between us. A wedge that seemed impenetrable. Hostility and defensive tones were most of what was exchanged between us. Why?

We were raised in the Lutheran church. (I am in no way bashing Lutherans or any religion, so please do not get offended.) It was a loving and compassionate church, until you happened to fall into one of the really "bad sin" categories. I fell into it when I got pregnant at 16 years old, but eventually was accepted again and the fingers of shame and judgment subsided. My sister came out as a lesbian and has had that ugly finger shaking at her ever since. I can't begin to fathom the amount of condemnation and hate that has been spewed on her in her life. I can't begin to imagine what it feels like to have the very word of God used as a tool of hatred and judgment. I can't imagine how ugly these "righteous" people have made Jesus look to my poor sister.

The reality is that Jesus isn't ugly. He isn't hate. He is love.

1 John 4:7-8 MSG
My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love.

So, naturally, my sister didn't trust me. She didn't trust me enough to open her heart to me. To let me into her inner being where she is vulnerable and raw. Why would she? I was one of those fingers. I thought I was being a "good Christian". Trying to save her soul by showing her sin to her. Really. For that I am ashamed. My sister isn't new to the Bible. She wasn't raised in an atheistic home. She was introduced to the same God I was. She doesn't need me to spew scripture at her like bullets. She knows the Word. What she needs from me, is to love her. The very thing that the Bible tells us to do... over and over and over again. The one and only job we have is to love God and love others. Done. Simple, right?

Matthew 7:1-5 MSG
“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."  That's right- Jesus said that...

One of the most eye opening and worst moments in my life was the day I sat with my sister and the love of her life on my mother in law's deck. I sat them both down to apologize to them. To tell them that I have been so wrong for so long. I told them that I believe every single word in the Bible to be truth. With that, I believe my job is to love them both. Not to point fingers and pass judgment. My sister's response? (Here is where the horrible part comes in..) With tears streaming down her face, "You don't know how long I have waited to hear this. You are the first person in our family to say this to me." Ouch. My sister has not been receiving love and compassion from me. She has been getting fire and brimstone thrown at her. Jesus would be shaking his head at me.

I have chosen to live differently. I have chosen to love differently. I fell in love with Jesus and with that, I love all that He is and represents. Unconditional love. That is what I will offer my sister from now on and I encourage you to do the same to whoever it is in your life that you may disagree with. I don't know what it is like to be in love with a woman. I don't have to understand it. It's not what I am called to do. To me, my sister isn't a lesbian. She is my sister. Being in love with a woman doesn't identify her anymore than my loving a man identifies me. (And I am pretty sure she doesn't think of me as "the heterosexual".) My sister is a kind, loving, serving, compassionate, funny, beautiful, intelligent daughter of the Most High God. Her fiancé is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. Patience like nothing I have ever known, compassion for every living creature, kindness, gentleness, intelligence (like super genius level), and beautiful daughter of The King as well. She makes my sister a better person. I have seen that and I appreciate that.

I pray my sister can find forgiveness for those who have cast stones. I pray her wounds from the past will heal. I pray she can get to know the real Jesus. The Jesus that I have come to know. I pray she will give Him a second chance, because I know He isn't done with her yet. And next time you want to "correct" someone, or tell them where they are sure to go if they do this or that- please remember that (in the words of one of the wisest men I have met in Georgia) you don't know the mind of God. You don't know what He will say or do on judgment day. We have a good idea of His heart from scripture, but we do not know His mind or intentions. Just keep on loving and praise God that He gave you a fine example to follow- Jesus.