Survival

SIDE NOTE: So, I realize that I had a bit of a freak out last night. I apologize for my outburst of negativity, especially to my husband who endured the worst of it. A few days ago something happened and my right hip has been killing me ever since. It is usually something I can do my best to ignore and go through my day. Yesterday, however, it got real bad much earlier than normal and I was rushing to the bathtub for a scalding hot bath before Mike and Sophia were even finished with their dinner. The HOT bubble bath was spectacular! I didn't feel any pain whatsoever while I was in it. Problem is... I got dizzy and lightheaded and was pretty sure I was going to pass out and drown... no good. So I got out. 4 extra strength Tylenol and a hubby hip massage later, it was still killing me. I was panicking and a little devil started whispering in my ear and reminding me that I still have 7 weeks left of this.. 7 WEEKS!!!! I didn't know how I would survive the night let alone 7 more freaking weeks! It seemed so big and I felt so defeated and miserable. Luckily I somehow fell asleep and slept pretty good through the night.

This morning I woke to my wonderful hubby doing what he always does, kissing me goodbye and telling me he loves me. This is a ritual that has become part of our everyday. I have come to depend on those seemingly insignificant 2 seconds of my day. It reminds me that it is a new day. That Mike still loves me. That God isn't done with me yet. I had forgotten all the pain I had endured the night before and just laid there basking in the "everyday love" I am so blessed to receive from my best friend in this world. I realized that I usually wake slightly and then go right back to sleep when he leaves the room. I take this 2 seconds for granted. What happened if tomorrow he didn't kiss me goodbye? What if tomorrow he didn't tell me loved me on his way to work?

 I know being a military wife, this is a harsh reality. At some point (sometimes several points) we have to endure several months or more of our husbands not falling asleep or waking up next to us. It becomes apart of our lives and we deal with it. We do the best we can with what we have and we move forward. But, I think we are able to appreciate the 2 second goodbye kisses in the morning maybe a little bit better than the average married couple. I think we learn to appreciate the random texts through out the day reminding us that he loves us so much and thinks we are the most beautiful thing. And we mind picking up his dirty socks a little less.

Most of the time we treat our relationships like there is a tomorrow. Like we can always apologize later, or tell them we love them later. We have tomorrow or next week to show them we care. What if tomorrow doesn't come? What if today is all you have? Maybe we won't go to bed mad anymore? Maybe we won't put off for tomorrow what should be said or done today? Maybe we will take an extra few minutes to appreciate what we have? Maybe I will stop "surviving" this pregnancy and start doing the best I can to enjoy it, being that it is my last?

Maybe we should all stop "surviving" our lives and start living them. Stop trying to hurry and get through the day or get through our child's terrible 2's phase. Stop rushing through life and slow down enough to see what we actually have. The blessings that have been given us as a gift. Our jobs, our families, our husbands and wives, our friends and neighbors. These are things many people don't have, but pray for every day.