On Friday I was laying down during Sophia's nap time, trying to sleep. I have been so fatigued lately and just feeling exhausted and run down all the time. Unfortunately, I also have a mind that won't stop running! So as I lay there, my mind racing with millions of things that I have to accomplish before this baby arrives, I decided that I needed to get up and do something. Being super broke, I decided to go through the ginormous tote of clothes that I have been saving for a yard sale, and try to sell them online.
As I am sorting the sizes and posting them for sale online, I begin receiving emails from wanting moms. This started my entire day of meeting some great women with incredible stories to tell. One woman came to get some clothes for her daughter is turning 5 this month. She told me about how her daughter has leukemia and so they didn't really know what to expect. I promised I would pray for her and I will continue praying for their family.
Another woman (only 23 years old) had a newborn baby girl and a 3 year old daughter as well. She was referring to her newborn as her "miracle baby" and explained to me how her and her husband had lost a son. When I inquired more, she explained how at a 21 week ultrasound, they were devastated to find out that their son was missing half of his brain and head.
I have been realizing the gifts the Lord has blessed me with, one of them being resiliency. I have endured some terrible events in my life, and in spite of the odds, have not been left with a cold and hardened heart. But, could I handle something like this? Losing one of my children? I pray to God that he never tests me on this. Meeting these women have opened my eyes to the little things I don't thank God for. When they are running around with more energy than a hurricane, I get annoyed and frustrated and tell them to go run it off outside. When my two year old wants me to sing her yet ANOTHER song before bed and my back is killing me and all I want is to be in my own bed. When they are stubborn, strong willed, energetic, repetitive, and seem to always be where I don't want them to be (ie: following me into the bathroom...). I have realized how empty and dark my life would be without all of these wonderful traits that I don't appreciate. I know that if something tragic happened, I would be begging for them to be able to bust in on my showers.
So yesterday I was tired and worn out, but I knew it was the last day we would get to spend with Gracie as a family before she leaves for Minnesota. She wanted to go to the pool and stay up late playing games as a family. How in the world could I say no to this? And you know what? I had a blast at the pool! It was super fun and I even got a little sun on my ridiculously white skin! I made Gracie's favorite dinner and got struck with heartburn right after. It was short lived, as I am pretty sure God wanted us to play monopoly too : ) Heartburn leaves me exhausted and drained, not to mention my back was killing me. But Gracie's wanted to play monopoly with us. I would've rather been in bed... but I played. Of course, I had a blast playing too! Mike and Grace are hilarious with how they pick at each other and tease each other. It is like a modern day 3 stooges watching them (only there's 2..).
The moral of this story? I have learned to find blessings where I used to find annoyance. I have learned to appreciate what I have ignored, and to say "Thank you Jesus!" for these things. I will not take my children for granted and I will not pass up an opportunity to spend more time with them. Along with my husband, they are my most treasured on this Earth. I look forward to what today brings and I pray you do too.
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