Another Rainy Summer Day

The past few days have been rainy and dreary. Not so good for a busy 2 year old and an easily bored 8 year old. On top of the weather dillema, there is also that whole money thing.. you know, where I have none. Half of Mike's paycheck has gone to Gracie's plane ticket to bring her to MN to spend the summer with her dad. However, she doesn't leave until next Tuesday, which means I have to find ways to entertain her without her normal friends (Luci and Lila), and without money. This was going to bring us to the splash parks in housing. We went a couple of times already, and although it was short lived both times, it was fun nonetheless. But, with the rain, we are trapped in this prison we also call home.

Yesterday was a rough day. I was so incredibly cranky and couldn't, for the longest time, pinpoint why. It was when Mike came home that I realized how bad it was. I was instantly terrible and horrible and mean. Was it because I was jealous that he gets to leave this house and associate with other adults? Was it because he was complaining of how rough he was having it and I wanted to scream that I had it worse? Or was it maybe just the typical pregnancy hormones creeping up on me again, threatening to destroy everyone in their path?

After Mike left I was laying in bed attempting a nap to chill myself out and starting praying. Asking God to help me relax and realize why the heck I was being so wretched. The only thing that came to mind was banana bread. God was telling me to get my butt up and bake with my daughter. I went and grabbed her out of her room and the two of us made our way to the kitchen. I was relaxed and let her do just about everything. With the exception of a few things, Gracie made the 4 batches of banana bread on her own. It was nice to spend time with her, but the best part was the immense joy and satisfaction she got out of it.

I realized while the bread was baking and Gracie was applying load after load of make up to my face (making me look like I should be wearing a price tag.. but of course I "loved it and thought it was so beautiful") that instead of dwelling on why I was cranky and what to do about it, God distracted me and helped me to just move forward. In moving forward I realized I was just going stir crazy and needed to find some fun. I apologized to Mike for being so nasty and decided I was going to stop looking at my home like a prison and start appreciating the things we can do here.