To Our Girls: 6 Rules For Dating

To my dear, beloved daughters... It's no secret. Dad and I are new to this 'teenager' thing. Yeah, we were once in your shoes, but raising you is a totally different story. You are growing- FAST. You have quickly moved from that chubby cheek cuteness, into dashing beauty. You know, the kind that makes boys notice you when you walk by. (This is why dad has gone bald and I am going slightly crazy.) Naturally this is the scariest thing in our world right now. They notice you girls and, unfortunately, you notice them too. As far as dating, dad and I needed to set up some rules. These rules have come up a lot lately, so I figured I would jot them down here so as to reiterate how unwavering we are on the subject.

Rule #1: You must have a driver's license. Your date must have one as well. If your parents have to drive you to meet your 'boyfriend' to go on a 'date', then it is in fact NOT a date, but a playdate. Yeah... like toddlers have.

Rule #2: You must wait until the summer before your senior year in high school. Your future is the most important thing. It is your whole life- duh. So, we don't want you to jeopardize that future by not putting all of your focus and attention into your education. Without your education, your options are so completely limited. We want you to reach for the stars and have everything you have ever dreamed of. Have a solid educational foundation before you open that door. (Not to mention that you still need this time to grow emotionally. You are not ready for the drama, heartache, and overall messiness that having a boyfriend carries with it.)

Rule #3: He must meet your dad and I before your first date. Old fashioned? Maybe. Whatever you call it, it's a must. I want to know who it is you are going out with. I want to know his character and his intentions. If he isn't willing and courageous enough to follow this rule, then I think we both know the kind of boy he is.

Rule #4: Don't sell yourself short. Dating does NOT equal relationship. Don't be the girl who checks yes on a note asking you to be his girlfriend. Because he likes you, and maybe you like him back... doesn't mean you need to jump into an exclusive relationship. Date. That's the whole point, right? Let him take you out a few times. See if you still like him when you get to know more about the real him. Then make your decision on whether or not to commit.   

Rule #5: He must treat you with the honor and respect you deserve. He shows up (after meeting dad and I on a previous occasion) to our front door with flowers in hand. He is dressed handsomely and ready to pick you up to take you out to a nice dinner... Somewhere with tablecloths... Doesn't that sound a lot better than you sneaking out to the local McDonalds where you will probably have to pay for his cheeseburger? I mean... c'mon...

Rule #6: He should be a Christian. Developing feelings for someone who doesn't share the same morals, values, and spiritual beliefs as you is hard. Trust me. I have been there. You want a boy to understand who you are and to respect why you do what you do and how you choose to live. If he isn't a Christian, he won't. Chances are, if he really is a Christian, he will agree with every single one of these rules and he will respect them. That, in turn, will make waiting, dating, and all this messy stuff- a little less messy. It might even make it easy. Plus- if your heart is hidden in God, how can you share it with someone who doesn't love Him?

Here's the deal. Dad and I love you girls so much and we only want the absolute very best for you. We want Jesus to be your first love, so we are giving you time to fall in love with Him all on your own. We can only teach, guide, and direct you so far.. it's up to you to continue your relationship with Him. If you don't truly know the love of God, then how will you recognize real love when you find it?

God says you are these things.. the way a boy treats you should reflect these:
*You are precious and honored in My sight.
*You are loved.
*You are My masterpiece.
*You were created for My glory.
*You are wise, righteous, sanctified, and redeemed.
*Your body is My temple where My Holy Spirit lives.
*You are a princess. An heir to My throne alongside Christ.
*You are chosen, holy, and blameless.
*You have bold and confident access to Me.

If he makes you feel less than any of these things, then that boy isn't the right one.