7th Grade is Tough

My beautiful, bubbly, soft-hearted daughter, Luciana, has never had trouble making friends. Where ever she goes, she usually winds up leaving with a new friend or two. Moving around to different states, cities, school districts hasn't seemed like much of an issue for her, because she always makes friends so fast and without much effort.

But, my sweet girl is now in 7th grade. Everything is different. All the kids originally wanted to know her. All the boys wanted her to be theirs. All the girls wanted her to join their "clique". Yet my Luciana stands here today with maybe two friends from school. This is due to my daughter being picky. And, honestly, I thank God that she is. She isn't allowed to "date" (really, what is dating in 7th grade anyway?!) until she is a senior in high school. While she didn't really understand our rule at first, she has witnessed girls at school being treated like garbage and used like objects. She now trusts that we kinda know what we are talking about. That leaves all those boys out. She doesn't feel right with every other word coming out of her mouth being a cuss word and talking trash about her parents. She doesn't want to disrespect adults and bully other kids. This leaves the vast majority of the girls out too.

My girl came home in 6th grade telling me horror stories of the other kids on her bus and in her school. There were 11 year old girls singing, "I put a (insert disgusting word to describe male genitalia here) in my mouth! I put a **** in my mouth!". The boys and girls on the bus were saying terrible things about their parents and every other word was some of the worst cuss words you can imagine. Some girls were explaining to my daughter that you can in fact get pregnant from oral sex (ok, I kinda like that these girls think this way- maybe it will stop them from performing such things). These are the things my daughter is surrounded by on a daily basis.

This filth is exactly why my daughter has chosen to be incredibly picky with her friends; who she allows into her world and who she doesn't. She is teased now for being a 'churchy girl' and 'bet you have to ask your mom' kind of junk. But she chooses to stand her ground. She chooses to be bigger and not compromise her values and beliefs. 

All that I have described above.... that is precisely why we, as parents, have to be involved in our kids social lives. We have to know who our kids' friends are. We need to be actively involved. We cannot just sit back and let them figure it out for themselves. It is way too hard. Way too much pressure to be a certain way. And it is also a fabulous reason to have our kids involved in a good church with other kids who share their same values. 

It gives me and Luci a great sense of relief for her to have finally found someone from church who is her age and who shares her same passion for the Lord. She has finally found someone to be silly with and act like a kid. No pressure to try and act like an adult or be 'cool'. They can just be themselves and it is so wonderful to watch. I praise Him for answering our prayers and sending her someone her age to lean on during this incredibly tough season.