A Smaller Bed

For our entire marriage, Mike and I have shared a California-king sized bed. He sleeps on one edge while I sleep the width of two kids away from him, meeting in the middle once in awhile... It's been useful for loading up with little girls who have bad dreams, or who just want to cuddle on a Saturday morning. It's also been big enough that my sweaty sleeper husband can keep his sticky skin away from my unshaven prickly legs. It's a win-win really. Due to his feverish type body heat throughout the night, Mike likes to keep our bedroom particularly frigid. Windows kept open all winter with a fan blowing the icy air directly at us, prompting me to snuggle up on my side of the bed with not one, but two down comforters. 


Things look quite different when we spend the night at our camper. For the last year and a half we have had our camper parked at a permanent site in Bloomer, Wisconsin. It's at a campground that we have come to really love. The people, the atmosphere, the wildlife, and the clear skies and fresh air all have quite a hold on us. We try to stay there as often as we can. But, people, we can't fit any king sized bed in that tiny old camper. In fact, we snuggle up on a full sized bed when we stay there. 

I know what you're thinking, cause when I imagine it, I think the same thing. How on God's green Earth could we ever fit?! Honestly, it's pretty tight. If one of us rolls over, the other better wake up and roll too, lest they wind up on the floor. Usually one or both of our arms is resting on the night stand. There isn't room for us to each have our own blanket, so we are forced to share. Ya'll we are forced to snuggle. Yes, I said it. Snuggle. Prickly legs and all! There is seriously no getting around it.

At first it was kind of strange. We hadn't snuggled a whole lot during actual sleep since the beginning of our relationship when we were still in that whole "my arm's asleep but I don't care cause I never want this to end" phase. We have enjoyed our space and have grown accustomed to a certain sleeping arrangement. He stays on his end and I stay on mine. He can't steal my blanket doing his crazy burrito roll-flops in the middle of the night, cause he's got his own! He sleeps with 863 pillows, I sleep with one, maybe two. It's a perfect system and we have slept well for years using it. 

So now we had to learn how to sleep together all over again. Lord, help us. It didn't take long to realize that I prefer to be the 'big spoon'. Throwing my arm around him is like snuggling a big old pillow (which really helps keep your chest clear for easy breathing- ladies you know where I'm going with this...). Plus, when he's the big spoon his freaking Arnold Schwarzenegger arm crushes my rib cage, and then he gets all crazy and thinks it ok to toss one of his mammoth legs over mine like I'm some kind of body pillow. I may not be what any sane person would call 'petite', but I still have bones, and they can still break under the weight of ginormous man muscles. Anyway- you get what I'm saying. 

Over time, Mike and I began to vocalize how much better we seemed to sleep at the camper. I knew I slept great there, but I didn't realize how much better he slept too. I figured it must be the fresh air and the outdoors that we don't normally spend as much time in when we are home. But then I began noticing how my back aches were diminishing the more I slept up there. I noticed how much less Mike snored. Best of all... I took notice of how much more Mike and were "meeting in the middle" when there wasn't a middle to be met in. 

The forced snuggling and blanket sharing caused us to be more intimate with each other, which in turn made us both a whole lot happier toward each other, which is turn made the big annoyances of each other seem much smaller. I can go on and on but I think you understand. After being married for 7 years, we found some passion again that we had sort of forgotten about in the midst of our chaotic lives. We began to look at each other and feel more than indifferent. We started laughing more and fighting less. It seriously has been like therapy for us. Silly right? But bringing our physical bodies closer has caused us to connect emotionally and spiritually more than we had in awhile. It's refreshing and I encourage it.

So last week we went and gave away our California-king sized bed so we could go buy a new queen sized mattress. We wanted the effect our camper bed had on us to carry into our home as well. I mean, why not? If we can be happier, less stressed, and better connected, why wouldn't we chose too? 

You know how you meet those people who've been married for 300 years and they have all kinds of sage advice? "Never have a television in the bedroom, you should 'entertain' each other." "Never sleep with separate blankets or you'll never touch." 

Well add this to the list... "Get a smaller bed."