There is a different feeling at church the last few weeks. I can't put my finger on exactly what, but something has shifted. There is a change in the atmosphere and it's intriguing. Exciting. I begin to feel it on the way to church, and it builds as I pull into the parking lot, and even more so as I walk into the building. It's the expectation. It's the anticipation that something huge is happening. Something I can't see, but I can most certainly feel it.
Walking into the room I begin to worship (cause let's face it, I am probably at least a few minutes late- so it's already begun). The instruments play together beautifully, giving out such a perfect sound. Our worship team sings like their voices were made for each other. Nothing is out of place. Every song played is exactly the song that I needed to hear. Every word sang and spoken over the crowd is the words that my soul needed at this very moment.
I close my eyes and silently ask God to wipe me clean and pour into my heart. Refill me, Lord, of all that you are, so I can pour out only what is good. As the songs continue to hit home, I raise my hands in worship. I feel the hot tears running down my cheeks and I surrender all that is weighing down my heart and I leave it at His feet. It's none of my business anymore. I listen to words glorifying my Father and I am overwhelmed by a sense of awe that He would choose to love me.
With every moment and every tear, I feel more at home. At peace. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says: Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. I am here to tell you how very true that is. I feel free. Completely unchained to the burdens of this life and this world. Completely at peace with who I am and where I am. With my eyes closed and my heart open, I am home.
With this incredible feeling of freedom, I begin to feel the weight of His glory. I am so in awe of His holiness and His goodness and His love. My knees begin to shake and I hear the gentle whisper in my heart encouraging me to really surrender. I fall to my knees and bow before the Almighty. Psalms 95:6 says: Come, let us bow down in worship; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker.
It's a spiritual heaviness that is drawing me to my knees. I want to fully humble myself and surrender all that I am to my King. Once there, the tears really get going. It's a kind of release that is only furthering my freedom. It's pent up emotion- frustration, anger, resentment, happiness, love, joyfulness. It's all coming out in a whirlwind that I didn't even know I needed. It's that emptying that I asked God for. "Empty me of me, so that I can be filled with you." That's what this is.
I rise to my feet again as the music takes an upbeat turn. I am so light and free that I can almost bet I will start floating. I dance and sing to my Daddy and I feel a joy that I can't find with anyone else. I get a sort of high that no drug can compare to. I close my eyes as my body moves with the music and a moment later I see it. A cloud. Completely surrounding the entire room. It is white and fluffy and airy, but dense with a thickness of so many people. I can't see faces. I can only see shapes. There are hundreds or more of these "cloud people" surrounding us and worshiping with us.
Instantly I recognize the scripture, but I have to read it to see what God is really showing me. Hebrews 12:1 says: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses... hmm. I feel an urging to read the Message version and it almost knocks me off my feet.
Hebrews 12:1-3 MSG
Do you see what this means? All these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!
Yes! Thank you God for reminding me. For showing me. Those pioneers? Those witnesses? Those veterans? My grandma is in there. My babies that I have lost- they're in there too. Cheering me on. Worshipping alongside me in church on Sunday, in my car as I drive, in my living room as I clean, and all the while cheering for me in this race. They are encouraging me when I fall down to get back up. They are applauding every time I choose Jesus. Every time I make the bold step to stand for Him, and not be swayed with my circumstances or by the things of this world.
I had my glimpse of Heaven. In fact, I am finding that the more I keep my eyes focused on Him- the more glimpses I have. Heaven isn't about what you can see. It's about what you can feel. Unless you make the choice to allow God into your heart, I don't see how you can feel Him. His presence. His freedom. I pray every one reading this figures out a way to be bold enough. To be courageous enough to allow Him to break through the barrier and into the deepest places in your heart. I promise, as scary as it is to let your guard down, and to become vulnerable- He will not abuse you. He will not treat you badly. He will tenderly show you what kind of a doctor He is. He will heal your brokenness. While healing almost always comes with some pain, He will hold you through it. His love is like a medicine. Easing your pain and curing your ailments.
Something big is coming. It's already here and it's changing things. The atmosphere is changing. The dynamic is changing. Something is happening. I am thrilled to be in the front row to experience it. I pray you decide to accept tickets to this show, cause "It's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of HIM"!
Ephesians 1:15-19 MSG
That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!
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