So, yeah.. I'm a little jacked up... no big deal...

Back before I decided to really pick up my mat and follow Jesus, I had this boyfriend. He was... well... I like to say he was more of a phase or a really long, drawn out mistake. Either way, no bueno! I lived in a really old and creepy house with this boyfriend.  Every room was cold and dark (unless it was summer, then it was humid and dark) and, like I said... creepy! The bathrooms were the worst. Showers have always creeped me out. I mean, I guess I probably should've watched Psycho a few less times growing up. During this time I did not have a see-through shower curtain, so the shower was even darker while you were in it. Well this fabulous boyfriend of mine thought it was the funniest thing in the world to sneak into the bathroom (even to the point of removing the door knob with a screw driver when I locked the door) and scare the crap out of me while I was showering. This was absolutely horrifying! I can't tell you how on edge I was every time I showered. (I bought only clear shower curtains after him...)

Even when I am alone in the house nowadays, I sometimes still get creeped out in the shower. When my eyes are closed to the water, I will get an eerie feeling of someone creeping into the bathroom and watching me. This rarely happens anymore, as I have taken hold of my home and my bathroom. I will not live with a spirit of fear... especially in the shower.

So the other day I was in the shower and my head was tipped up with my eyes closed as I was rinsing my hair. My eyes were directed toward the light in the ceiling and although my eyes were closed, I could see the light shining through my eyelids. When I tipped my head downward, however, I could only see darkness through my eyelids. I started getting that eerie feeling until I quickly tipped my head up and toward the light again. Comfort and peace washed over me and through the water pouring on my face, I smirked. God was speaking to me.

When I was focused on the light, even with my eyes closed, I could see it. I was safe. Comfortable. At peace. I knew everything was good and nothing could hurt me. When I turned my focus away from the light, I became weirded out and worried and that old creepy feeling crept in again.. Back to the light, and I was good again. Don't you see? God is light! (1 John 1:5) And when our eyes are on Him, He will give us a Spirit of peace, comfort, safety, love, joy, and so much more wonderful things. But, when we take our eyes off of Him and onto the darkness, we are entering a world of fear, anger, pain, hurt, and condemnation. There is no freedom in the darkness. There is no Light in the darkness.

The definition of darkness is: the absence of light. Simple. The definition of light is: energy producing brightness that makes seeing possible. The main thing that sticks out to me here is that light is energy that produces... umm.. LIFE! Darkness is the absence of this, making it... DEATH! Well I choose to keep my head tipped up and my eyes on life.. light.. God! Death and darkness can lurk outside all it wants, but it will not overtake me. Wanna know why??

1 Thessalonians 5:5   You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.