A Small Spark

Your husband seems distant. Your kids wont even talk to you without whining at you or asking for something. Your finances are one bill away from being in the toilet. You tried college, but life got in the way so instead of a degree you just have a huge bill to pay off. You pick up a new hobby only to get bored with it in a month (less if you're me...). There is always something missing. You always feel like something's 'off', just not right. Why can't you just figure it out? Why can't you just get it right?! What is your purpose in this mess of a life??

Look no further, ladies and gentleman! I have the answers you seek! It's so simple, yet so profound... Want to know your purpose in this world? Want the cure-all to all of your issues and messes? Want to know how to radically change everything?! Here it is.... Love God. Worship God. Glorify God in everything you do. Seems too easy, right? Well... not always as easy as it sounds, but it's so wonderful once you finally figure it out! Why wouldn't it be easy? It's just like loving your dog or your best friend right? Wrong. We are talking a much deeper- change the way you see the world- rethink everything you were ever taught- open your eyes, mind, and heart up to seeing and feeling like you never dreamed possible- willing to walk away from everyone, everything you have ever known- kind of love. Let me illustrate this for you...

Luke 18:18-30 (I like the Message best for this story...)
 ¹⁸ One day one of the local officials asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to deserve eternal life?”
^19-20 Jesus said, “Why are you calling me good? No one is good—only God. You know the commandments, don’t you? No illicit sex, no killing, no stealing, no lying, honor your father and mother.”
²¹ He said, “I’ve kept them all for as long as I can remember.”
²² When Jesus heard that, he said, “Then there’s only one thing left to do: Sell everything you own and give it away to the poor. You will have riches in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
²³ This was the last thing the official expected to hear. He was very rich and became terribly sad. He was holding on tight to a lot of things and not about to let them go.
^24-25 Seeing his reaction, Jesus said, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for people who have it all to enter God’s kingdom? I’d say it’s easier to thread a camel through a needle’s eye than get a rich person into God’s kingdom.”
²⁶ “Then who has any chance at all?” the others asked.
²⁷ “No chance at all,” Jesus said, “if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.”
²⁸ Peter tried to regain some initiative: “We left everything we owned and followed you, didn’t we?”
^29-30 “Yes,” said Jesus, “and you won’t regret it. No one who has sacrificed home, spouse, brothers and sisters, parents, children—whatever—will lose out. It will all come back multiplied many times over in your lifetime. And then the bonus of eternal life!”


So, here you have a man who was, by the world's standards, a very good man. He was a good citizen in his community, kept all the basic commandments, and very respected by everyone. I am willing to bet he never missed a Sunday church service and never forgot to put his 10% in the offering plate, too. He was a good man who performed good deeds. So, why would he not get into Heaven?! Well, Jesus knew this man's heart. He knew there was one thing the man wasn't willing to do. He wasn't willing to part with his riches. His money, cars, fancy clothes, shoes, etc. You see.... his heart belonged to these things. But God is very clear in Exodus 20:3-4 NLT says:

³ “You must not have any other god but me.

⁴ “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea.

 

Pretty straightforward, eh? No other gods. Period. That's it. No, this man wasn't praying to his money and singing worship songs to it. But he loved it more than he loved God. It was more important to him than getting into HEAVEN!! I mean... seriously. But isn't that we do? Isn't that the choice we make every single day? God isn't asking us all to give everything we have to the poor and live a life of poverty to prove our devotion to Him. But He is asking us to evaluate what it is in our lives that takes our attention off of Him. Is it your children? Is it your career? Your marriage? Maybe it's working out and dieting constantly trying to achieve that perfect body? Your appearance? What is it that consumes your thoughts, desires, hopes, heart? Is it God? Really?

 

Jesus said it would be easier to fit a camel through the eye of a needle, than it would be for a rich person to get into Heaven. You are probably thinking you are in the clear right now, because you aren't rich.. right? Well, your definition of rich and God's definition of rich probably doesn't line up. Did you know that half of the world's population lives on less than $2.50 a day? Don't believe me? Check this out. That is less than $912.50 every year. Now, let's go back and ask ourselves again if we are considered in this "rich" group of people. Well, I have more than the clothes on my back. I have a home, 2 vehicles, lots of shoes (don't get me started on the shoes...), a laptop, tablet, cell phone, cable, internet, I could keep going on and on all day. In fact, every one of the 6 beautiful people I live with have these things too. My dog even has a bed and many toys. I mean, seriously. We (even my dog!) are loaded in comparison to most of the world's population. So I guess this means I am in that category too.

 

Let's go back to Luke for a moment...

 

Luke 19:1-10 NLT

Jesus entered Jericho and made his way through the town. ² There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. ³ He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. ⁴ So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way.

⁵ When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.”
⁶ Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. ⁷ But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled.
⁸ Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!”
⁹ Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham. ¹⁰ For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”

So here is another rich man. A man who would do anything to even just get a glimpse of Jesus. A man who was willing to make a fool of and possibly injure himself by climbing a tree just to see who this man was. Zacchaeus probably about broke his neck scrambling out of that tree, just at the thought of having Jesus over for dinner! He was a tax man. A crook. He cheated those in his community and he loved money. But he made the choice to love God more. Before Jesus could even ask him too, he immediately gave away half of his wealth and paid back those he had cheated- not just what he took, but 4 times as much!! He was ready and willing to make radical changes in his life in order to follow Jesus! 

Back track with me to Luke 18 again. When asked how anyone could possibly have a chance at getting into Heaven, Jesus told them it was impossible! Say what? So, we're all screwed then? No, my beloved friends... He goes on to say that the only possible way is through God and God alone. We are weak, sinful people. We fall into temptation like a feather in the wind. But, if we equip ourselves with the armor of God and ask Him to fill us with HIS strength, then we can overcome anything! Glorious isn't it?

Revelation 3:15-22 is a letter written to the church in Laodicea. This was the wealthiest of the 7 cities. It had become tepid in it's faith. These people had money. They were comfy and cozy and had luxuries. They didn't need to cry out to the Lord for things like other cities. They could buy them. (Sound like anyone you know? Ahem...) Pastor Alan says John may as well have been writing this letter to the United States, and I agree with him wholeheartedly.

¹⁵ “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! ¹⁶ But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! ¹⁷ You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. ¹⁸ So I advise you to buy gold from me—gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness, and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see. ¹⁹ I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference.

²⁰ “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. ²¹ Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne.

²² “Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches.”

The rich man from Luke 18 was lukewarm. He was a man who would serve God until it got uncomfortable and inconvenient. He wasn't cold, but he surely wasn't hot either. The rich man from Luke 19 started out cold. He was a crook and he didn't care. But one look at his Redeemer, and he was engulfed in a fiery passion for Him! When will we start living out the truth? We are the righteousness of Christ! We need, desperately, to get to a place where He is our everything. Where nothing else matters and nothing else can take our eyes from His glorious face. We need to be so on fire for God that anything that comes in contact with us will not be able to deny or ignore it. That it will spread to others and ignite their passion as well. 

"A small spark in a forest ignites a forest fire." Are you lukewarm? Are you willing to walk away from everything if God called you to? I pray you are on fire for God. I pray if you aren't, that you make your changes before it's too late.

Beautiful song that pertains...
 

  

 

Once Upon A Dream

 

It was the year 2000 when Erin Brockovich came out. I was 15 and ready to take on the world as a paralegal, and eventually a lawyer. I was going to start college as soon as I was out of high school and just jump into the world of success after that. I wanted to make a difference and investigate hidden lies and bring the truth to light. I wanted to make the newspaper and television. Everyone would know my name, and the big bad wolf would fear me! I was going to have the penthouse apartment with a pool on the roof and no children whatsoever to hold me back.

Well almost exactly a year later, I became pregnant with my oldest daughter, Luciana. Wow.. not quite how things were supposed to work out... Like that, all my dreams came crashing down. I couldn't do anything that I intended, because now I had a GED and a baby who needed me to work so she could do all those crazy baby things.. you know, like eat and wear clothes and have a fresh diaper... silly stuff. Then, one after the other, the babies came pouring out of me like water. Until here I am today. A wife to a soldier (super hot and incredibly amazing soldier...) and a mommy to 5 daughters. ~insert comments and gasps and oohs and ahs here~ My life is not even a glimpse of what I thought it would ever be.

 

Now, I am not saying this is a bad thing. I mean, I am so madly in love with my family. I do not see them as people who are standing in my way or holding me back. I see them as the blessings that they are, and I never stop thanking Jesus for each and every one of their crazy selves. But, whatever happened to my dreams? Whatever happened to me? Have I gotten so lost in caring for everyone else and tending to their needs that mine have been totally forgotten? Do I even count? Do I matter? Or am I simply here to give everyone else the life they desire? What is to come of me when my girls grow up and move out and pursue their own dreams? Then what? Will I be in the fetal position in the corner mumbling and drooling because I have no concept of life without being a mommy? Who am I, anyway?

What if I decide to chase those long lost dreams now. As a grown woman with 5 kids and a hubby who's committed himself to the military? Well, see the thing about that is that my dream would look slightly different these days. Do I still want to bring justice and truth to the world? Yes! Do I still want to help people who are being manipulated, beat down, and broken? Absolutely! Do I still want the fame and fortune and penthouse apartment? Not a chance. I can go to college now and get a degree and help and serve people, but my motives are so incredibly different. When I was 15 I was living for me. My life was my own and I was the only one who mattered. Nowadays, I kinda fell for this amazing guy. His name is Jesus. We are super tight and I really genuinely am devoted to Him. Every breath I take is for Him. Every accomplishment I have is His.



My success is measured differently. My motives are geared toward Him. My heart is always wanting to know how my actions are going to benefit His kingdom. That's all that matters. When this life is all said and done, we aren't bringing the Lexus and penthouse and our money to Heaven with us. We won't be bringing our awards and newspaper clippings and medals. No, no, my ambitious friends... we will be headed toward Paradise with our faith, our character, our love, and our hearts. Matthew 16:26 says: For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

But don't think this means that we can't do incredible things, people! We surely can have the career and make a huge impact on this world. Psalms 37:4 says: Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. And James 4:10 says: Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will exalt you. You see? When we genuinely love God and chase after Him, our hearts change. We will still be exalted, but for different reasons and in different ways. We must become less so that He can become more in us. I can go out and get my college degree and become a paralegal or lawyer and do it all for the glory of the Lord. I want to serve people and give a voice to those who have none. I want to show mercy and grace to those who have never been given a chance. I want to show people who Jesus is through my love and actions. I want to show them hope. So that even those who seem the most lost can find their dreams again.

So don't stop dreaming my friends. Don't give up on your goals. Focus on Jesus and He will give you your heart's desires. He may not do it the way you think it should be done or when you think it should be done. Sometimes, He doesn't give us what we think we want most, because it turns out He has something better in store. If He would've fulfilled the dreams I had in high school, I would be a much uglier version of myself. I would still have that hole in my heart that I would be trying to fill with things and people. God will make sure our dreams come true when we are emotionally and spiritually ready for them, because He wants us to prosper and blossom, not fall flat on our faces. So keep digging in and fuel your faith. Trust that your dreams are not forgotten. "It's gonna be big, it's gonna be wild, it's gonna be full of HIM!!"

Goggles

So many people have told me how much I've changed in the last few years. It's true. Just about everything about me has changed. I'm not just talking my hair and weight either. My taste in music, movies, games, weekend activities, books, etc. I used to love going out to the bar every weekend and dancing until my body ached. I used to cuss like a sailor and it didn't faze me. I used to be attracted to just about any man who said the right thing and made me feel special (that's a whole other story....). I used to smoke every day and drink (to get drunk) as often as I could, and I loved every moment of it. To be really transparent... I used to even enjoy watching porn. That caused me to allow my body to be used and abused in ways that now make me shudder. My intimate relationship with my husband was dramatically different than it is now.

So, what changed? Well.. Jesus changed me. It sounds cliché and ridiculous, but it's the truth. I have never really been able to put into words how these things have been changing until now. I have begun reading yet another fantastic book (and yes.. it was free!). It is called When Godly People Do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore. It says, "Satan so vehemently despises what Christ has done for mortals that one of his chief objectives is to make the clean feel unclean... Satan can't make the bride do anything, so he does everything he can to get her to... He tries to corrupt thoughts to manipulate feelings... Satan's desire is to modify human behavior to accomplish his unholy purposes. 2 Timothy 2:26 tells us that Satan's objective in taking people captive is to get them to do his will. If we received Christ as our Savior, Satan is forced to work from the outside rather than the inside. Thus, he manipulates outside influences to affect the inside decision-makers of the heart and mind."

I used to do terrible things and I enjoyed them. I lived to please my flesh. Whatever feels good at the time is where I want to be and it didn't matter the consequence. See, Satan doesn't always work with fear. If he can get us to turn our eyes and hearts away from God, then he wins. It doesn't matter how it happens.. if we are not with God, then we are apart from Him. It all ends the same. Either with the Lord or with the enemy. There is no in between. So I chose Jesus. I decided that I wanted HIM to reign over my life and most certainly not the devil. In fact, the idea of Satan being inside of me and wrapping his cold hands around my heart, makes me sick. Never again. Ever.

 

So I accepted Christ and things began changing. It didn't just magically happen, I had to 'die daily'. (I still do!) I had to choose to stop listening to music about sex and violence and adultery- and I learned how to genuinely worship my God. I had to choose to stop watching movies that gave me bad ideas or nightmares- and I learned how to take control of my thoughts and not allow myself to be influenced. I had to choose to watch my mouth and not cuss anymore- and I learned how to use my words to speak life and give encouragement and love and truth. I had to choose to find other things to do on the weekends other than getting drunk- and I learned to play games with my family, to laugh until I cried, to go for bike rides, and on dates with my gorgeous man.

I had to choose to stop watching porn. That was a big one. That was the hardest thing to change. Not the whole watching part, that was pretty easy for me. It was the way I thought abut sex, how I should act as a woman, and how my husband should act as a man. All this was skewed because of the terribly fake things I had allowed myself to view and believe. I had to learn what a real woman looks like. Intimately, publicly, as a wife... the whole shebang. And I had to learn how to accept being loved and treated with respect. Now, my intimate life with my husband looks very different (in a gloriously good way.. trust me....). In fact, our entire marriage looks different. I don't want to be dominated. I want to be loved and respected and guided gently. In the same book, Beth Moore says, "Since the Spirit of Christ now dwells in the temple of believers' bodies, getting a Christian engaged in sexual sin is the closest Satan can come to personally assaulting Christ. That ought to make us mad enough to be determined to live victoriously. Sins against the body also have a way of sticking to us and making us feel like we are that sin rather than the fact that we've committed that sin." I will never have to live in sexual sin again as long as I guard my heart and my mind. I am only saddened that I didn't read this book years ago.

Once you accept Christ as your Savior and allow Him to kick out the enemy and take up residence in your heart, you will never be the same. I promise you that your whole way of viewing the world will be different. Where things have become sources of comfort, they will again just be things. God will be your source of comfort and love. You wont have to search anymore. You wont have to walk through this life alone anymore. God will gladly and lovingly take your hand and guide you into the salvation your heart longs for. It is the most amazing thing to have Jesus break the chains that bind you to this sinful world. But don't take my word for it....  

Seriously Seeking

Jeremiah 29:10-14 in the Message says:
^10-11 This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
¹² “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.
^13-14 “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.
“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree.
“I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you”—God’s Decree—“bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.

Wait a minute.... so if I seek God, I will find Him? Because I am pretty sure that I have said my bedtime prayers every single day and asked to have faith. Asked to feel His presence. Asked to see Him in my life. And yet, I feel nothing. I have no miraculous hope and happiness that this word promises.... so what's the deal? Is God even really listening? Is this whole God thing even real?!

Pastor Alan spoke on Sunday about a time when his youngest daughter, Lily was out shopping with their family at Bass Pro Shop. (For those of you who don't know, this is a HUGE store filled with all sorts of man-favorites. Camping, fishing, hunting, etc.) Well one minute she was there, and the next, she was gone. He looked around and she was nowhere. What do you suppose he did at this point? Did he do like most of us Christians today do in regard to our faith? Did he go about his life saying he wanted her back, but really doing nothing to find her? Did he give out one quiet, "Lily, I really want you to come back to me." Then go on with his shopping? Heck no! He went running through the store, looking EVERYWHERE! (And I mean everywhere.. at one point he said he was willing to go into the women's restroom and fitting room, if that's what it took. The truth of whether he actually had to do that, remains a mystery...) He was ready to move Heaven and Earth to find his precious Lily. He wasn't about to let anything or anyone get in his way. His life couldn't just go on like usual, and it never would until she was found and back safely in his arms.

Why don't we seek God in this way? The scripture in Jeremiah says "when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed." Notice the whole "serious" part? Yeah. That is where we go wrong. On a daily basis. We allow our favorite television show, the kids sports and activities, work, friends, family, etc get in our way of genuinely seeking God. He is always there, he never leaves us. Whether or not we feel His presence is up to us. I explained it to my Luciana like this: If you and I are standing face to face so she can see me clearly, then put her friends in between us, then add in her favorite tv shows and movies, her games, her school work, and everything else that steals her attention. She can't see me anymore. The Bible says,  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.- Matthew 6:33. If we would only make God our priority over everything else. Seek Him first. Before making any decision, praying and asking God to guide us. Before taking a test at school, asking God to help give us focus and knowledge. Before writing this blog, asking God to guide my words carefully so they only come from Him. If we stop worrying about all the things that make up this life, and only concern ourselves with seeking God, then He will handle the rest! Kinda cool, eh?

Ok, so now you are seeking God. You are devoting time in the Word every day, you are in constant prayer with Him throughout the day, and you are starting to get that faith burning inside of you and changing you. Does this mean nothing will ever come to harm, disappoint, upset, anger, frustrate, devastate, or try to completely destroy you? After all, His word says He has big plans for us, right? Plans to take good care of us and to give us the future we hope for. Well you see, the thing about that is, we are still in the world. The world is filled to the brim with sin and everyone in it is sinful. There is no getting around that, until we are in Paradise when this life is over. So, yes. Bad things will happen. People will hurt us. Loved ones will die. Miscarriages will happen. Jobs will be lost. Finances will get ridiculously tight. Children will stray. Your faith will be tested and it will be shaken. But will you allow it to be lost? The difference between tragedy in a believer's life, and tragedy in a non-believer's life is dramatic.

I have personally had tragedy strike me many times in my short life. The ones I can relate best to are my many miscarriages. Miscarrying a baby is always hard. It wrecks you emotionally and mentally. You feel like a failure as a woman. You feel like a failure as a wife. You feel like maybe you did something wrong, and if only you could go back and change things around, it might not have happened. You grieve for the baby that you had already bought little tiny clothes for, planned a nursery for, picked names out for, began rearranging your life to make room for. You have already fallen in love with this tiny being that you created. Now that baby is lost and you feel a hole in your heart the size of Texas. I have known really amazing women who have been completely destroyed by a miscarriage. It has consumed them completely. There is no more happiness or sunshine. Everything is bleak and dreary. The difference I mentioned earlier, is hope. Purpose. Meaning. A Christian woman knows that God doesn't make mistakes. He knows precisely what He is doing while He is doing it. In fact, He had planned it all out long before you were ever born. What's the purpose in the many miscarriages I have had? Where's the meaning in all that pain and heartache? Well, I see now that I can use that pain to help other women who are dealing with it. To give them hope and show them the light in all the darkness they feel surrounding them. God still gave me 5 beautiful and healthy babies. I just had a lot of losses along the way. He gave me the future I hoped for so far and one day I will get to snuggle and hug and kiss and love on my many many babies in Paradise.

Sometimes, there are things in our life that cloud our focus on God, or completely replace it all together. God is a jealous god and wants every part of us. Sometimes, He will strip us of all the things the are distracting us from Him. Work, school, friends, having a baby, working out, money, houses, cars, whatever is your pleasure.... these things are not evil things. But we regularly turn these things into idols when we prioritize them above God. For example, if we are constantly checking our bank accounts, counting our money, giving everything we have to make an extra buck, and putting all our focus to our finances, then God might arrange to have us lose our job. Cruel? Or brilliant? Money shouldn't be our god. After all, we take none of it with us when we leave this world. Sometimes it takes drastic measures and tragic circumstances to cause us to call out to the Lord. Sometimes we have to lose everything to finally see that we already had everything that mattered in Jesus. Circumstances will NEVER change who you are in Christ.

There is a new song that has quickly become my absolute favorite, called Oceans by Hillsong United. If you haven't had the pleasure of hearing it, you can check it out HERE. It talks about how God calls us out into this life where it doesn't seem safe. Bad things will happen and our "feet may fail" and land us on our faces, but regardless of all the terrible things that happen to us, we are His and He is ours. When fear surrounds us, we must remember that He has never failed and He never will. We must keep our eyes above all the ugliness and focus on Him. No matter what. Because we can always find rest in Him. Always.

1 Peter 1:6-7 MSG says:
^6-7 I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.


At the end of this life and these trials, God isn't going to look at how much you have, or how good your grades were, or how many friends you had (for the record, Jesus had 12 friends. That's it. Oh yeah, and one of them betrayed Him...), or whether or not you got the promotion. He will look at your faith and He will have your FAITH on display. Seek Him. Find Him. Have your faith and live in the beauty that He has planned for you. Stop trying it your way, cause chances are- it hasn't been working, and it won't start working. Try things His way. Even if it differs from your wants. Give it a shot and see the goodness He has in store for you.


PS Check out these other songs that can relate to this message... Here and Here.

Reciever or Reproducer?

God knows I am a thrifty kinda gal, so whatever book He wants to shake my entire world with, will ultimately be on the $5.00 table at Family Christian Bookstore on the particular day that I happen to be browsing. I kid you not, every single book I have glanced at and decided to give a shot (cause it's only $5.00, so if it sucks... oh well, right?) has completely rocked my soul. The latest book that I have been reading is called Radical by David Platt. Now this book calls you out and convicts you big time as a Christian... so if you are looking for a cozy, squishy, comfortable existence where you don't actually have to do anything for the Lord or His kingdom, then don't read this. Better yet- READ IT! Cause clearly your heart is in the wrong place.

This crazy book asks some tough questions. The biggest one for me lately was this, "are you a receiver or a reproducer?" Here is the passage from the book that definitely stepped on my toes....

"Imagine being Sudan. You walk into a thatched hut with a small group of Sudanese church leaders, and you sit down to teach them God's Word. As soon as you start, you lose eye contact with all of them. No one is looking at you, and you hardly see their eyes the rest of the time. The reason is because they are writing down every word you say. They come up to you afterward and say, "Teacher, we are going to take everything we have learned from God's Word, translate it into our languages, and teach it in our tribes." They are not listening to receive, but to reproduce.
Now journey with me to a contemporary worship service in the United States. Some people have their Bibles open, while others don't have a Bible with them. A few people are taking notes, but for the most part they are passively sitting there in the audience. While some are probably disengaged, others are intently focused on what the preacher is saying, listening to God's Word to hear how it applies to their lives. But the reality of it is that few are listening to reproduce."

Heavy, right? I know I felt like a little kids getting caught red handed stealing from a candy store when I first read this. I have been going to church to see how it can change MY life. There have been a few Sundays when I left unfulfilled because it just didn't apply to ME and MY situation... Seriously. Sick huh? It's like not helping a sick child when you have the cure in your hand... because you just wouldn't get any personal benefit. The way I explained to Luciana the other day is this. Imagine you have a beautiful gift in your hands. It is amazing and the best thing anyone could ever receive. You can go to church every Sunday and get this gift refilled over and over and over. Every week. But you don't share it with anyone. Others  don't even cross your mind when you are being refilled, because all you can focus on it how great this gift is going to feel in your own hands.

Well I am done being a receiver. I have something that has changed me from the inside out. It has changed the way I view the world and all those in it. It has given me new life and new breath. It has made my world more beautiful than I ever thought possible and has filled me in ways beyond what I have always yearned for. It has given me that thing that was always missing to fill what seemed like an unfillable hole. I am done hoarding this thing all to myself. I am done keeping my fists clenched tightly around it. I am done watching those around me perish while I thrive. I love you guys, heck I love people in general. It's about time I show it.

But, I am not a missionary. I am not in the Sudan. I am not even in Mexico.... I am a wife and mother of 5 in Ludowici, Georgia. (Where even is that, right? I think it might actually be on a map...?) What does this radical idea look like in MY life? How can I contribute? How can I share this beautiful gift from here? Well, here it is folks, my blog! I know there aren't thousands of people that read this thing, but there are a few of you, and if I can touch just one soul with His Word, then it's worth every stroke on this keyboard. I am planning on blogging every week about what my dear friend and pastor teaches on the previous Sunday.  I have a fabulous church that I cant wait to go to every week and the Word is always a good one. So, I want to share with you what I learn in my own layman terms. (Bear with me, eh? I am not always as eloquent as most of these amazing bloggers.) So my next post will be a good one. I promise. Stay tuned, folks, and it is my hope that you will not just be receivers, but reproducers. That you will share with your friends and family what you learn here or at your local church as well. It's gonna be big, it's gonna be wild, it's gonna be full of HIM!!!