Luciana

My amazing and beautiful daughter, Luciana, just turned 11 years old yesterday. Wow. Where in the heck did the last 11 years go?! I remember her being this sweet and adorable little baby who made everyone smile with her sweet little face. I remember her first words (hot dog.. believe it or not!). I remember her first steps. I remember her first tooth (15 months old.... I was beginning to think she was born with NO teeth!) I remember everything about her life. Luci was my first taste of motherhood. My first feeling of unconditional love. My first opportunity to step outside of myself and genuinely care for another human being.

I was 16. I was way too young. It was the beginning of a new school year (my junior year) and the end of a wayward summer. I had been living like I had nothing to lose and was finally back home in the warm comforts of my youth. I wanted to get back into school and away from boys. I wanted to focus on my studies and get my grades back to the A's and B's they once were. I wanted success. Then I started feeling sick. All the time. I thought it was the flu. I was nauseous and vomiting constantly. I had to miss so much school that it was beginning to be pretty suspicious. I didn't feel right. I went and bought a pregnancy test. Uh oh. Both of my sisters had just discovered they were pregnant only months ago and all of us were too young, too selfish, and too crazy to be entering into motherhood. I looked at that little stick and my heart sank. I was pregnant?! Why this?! Why now?! I was finally trying to put my life back together and this happens?!

My mom told me to suck it up. I was going to be a mother. I was going to have to grow up quick and act like one. I needed a job to take care of that baby and I had better figure out how to be responsible and fast. My dad told me this is where my life ends, and my child's life begins. I was no longer allowed to be selfish and put myself first. I was no longer allowed to think of only myself. My child was to be the priority. I was going to learn to sacrifice and it wasn't going to be easy.

There were many times in the past 11 years that I have wondered where my life would be had I not gotten pregnant so many years ago. My high school friends went on to college and are becoming amazing people with so much success and life ahead of them. They are just now beginning their families with their careers in tow. Once in a great while I sit and think how nice it would have been if I would've been able to grow up to be something great. Then I remember that I am something great. I am a hero in the eyes of my daughters. Every time any one of my girls looks at me, they look at me with expectation and love and admiration. They know that whatever I have to say is trustworthy and true. They know that I will always be here and will always love them unconditionally. I have gotten to watch that chubby little 9 pound baby girl grow and blossom into a gorgeous, funny, smart, caring, kind, loving, spiritual young lady.

Luciana is respectful, responsible, bold, courageous, Spirit filled, artistic, and gifted in ways I could only wish for. The girl is something that I wish I could've been. She looks at me waiting for me to show her the ways of this world, but secretly it is I who admire her. I admire that she can look at someone who others would judge and simply want to hug them or pick them up in some way. I admire that she can look at an ordinary rock and see the amazing beauty and time that God took in making that rock. She sees the world through eyes filled with grace and mercy. She has the heart of a saint and I only pray that nothing come along to filthy that up.

I firmly believe that God's plan for me was not to get pregnant at 16. But, I also believe that God makes lemonade with our lemons. I made a choice to be irresponsible and I got pregnant. God took the reigns and allowed that baby to change my life. She saved me from a path I might've taken had she not come along.  She continues to give me hope for this horrible world. That there is still good in it. There is still love in it. There is still kindness, grace, and mercy in it. Thank you, Jesus, for entrusting me with one of your most favorite creations. Luciana Grace Overbo... you are mine, but more importantly- you are His.