You're the One who never leaves the one behind.
This has been resounding in my mind and my spirit the last several days. I first heard the song at a women's event last Friday. (Yeah, I am pretty sure everyone in the world heard it before me, but whatever. I heard it Friday and based on how much I've probably over-played it since then, I think I've caught up to you guys.) I guess this has been so imprinted on my heart because I was "the one." I was the stray sheep who got distracted and wandered off and Jesus, in all of His grace, left the 99 to come bring me back.
Meditating on this, I realize how much God has been speaking this to me lately. A couple of weeks ago I was stopped in my tracks. Marveling at the incredible beings that are my children. My teenagers are future-minded. They study and work and sweat and sacrifice in order to ensure they get into good colleges, eventually achieving good careers, and can reach all their goals and dreams. My oldest, Luci, worked hard to be accepted into a highly competitive Certified Nursing Assistant course this summer, where at the end of the 3 intense weeks- my 16 year old will be an official CNA. She will then have the opportunity to work at a respected nursing facility, where she will not only get the experience, but also the credits to go toward graduation. She is well on her way to having a successful career in the medical field.
The summer before my junior year in high school was filled with drugs, drinking, and boys (ok, they were men- I know, awful right? But it was my journey I guess....). I was too busy worrying about how cute I looked and which party I would attend first to even consider thinking about college or my future. I only cared about right now. Instant gratification. I worked hard at my image, and I sacrificed plenty of myself and my future.
When junior year started I found myself sick. A lot. Like living in the bathroom with my pillow and blanket, because there was no point in trying to leave the toilet for any amount of time kind of sick. When it finally got out that I was pregnant, my whole world changed. All of my friends slowly stopped talking to me. I was alone.
See, I was "the one". The sheep who strayed. But my straying wasn't a fun quick go party and come right back. My straying had lasting consequences. Ones that would effect the course of my future. Ones that my friends were not prepared to face. So they turned their backs and returned to their junior year and studied and went on to their futures at college, eventual careers, and now beginning their own families.
I was a stereotype. People looked at me and immediately judged and condemned me. I would most likely be on welfare, wind up in some shack with some guy and my kid would follow in my cursed footsteps. To them my future was failed forever. I could make nothing of myself now and my children were doomed. In fact, one of my mom's friends came to the house one day and shamed me for choosing to keep the baby. She was a barren woman who struggled with that for a long time. She saw me, and she told me how there were so many responsible and deserving women out there who could give my baby a real life. Women who would be a better fit for her, because at my tender young age- I wasn't enough. I couldn't be enough of a mom to my child.
She thought she had me pegged, didn't she?
Well I don't know if it was my stubborn nature, or just the overwhelming grace of God- probably both- but those curses spewed over me would not come to pass. Those judgments did not have the final say. See I was "the one". And don't you know that He never leaves "the one" behind?
God chased me down. He kept me safe from the fiery darts and curses being shot at me. He held me close when everyone seemed to give up on me. He whispered promises of a future filled with Him. Filled with unconditional love, grace, mercy, and freedom. I strayed time and time and time again, and each time- He faithfully came after me to bring me back.
Several years later, here I am. Wife to the most amazing (not to mention gorgeous) man, Mom to the most incredible children, Friend to the most wonderful people, and beloved Daughter of the Most High God. I have been abundantly and overwhelmingly blessed. God didn't just bring me back to Him, he showered me when His kindness. He showed me who I really was and what I really mean to Him. I look at my children and I see them as His promises fulfilled. Walking, talking, breathing promises. Each one of their successes brings Him even more glory.
Exodus 3:8 says- So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey...
God took me away from the place where I was judged and cursed and condemned. He brought me across the country to a place where nobody knew my past or my faults. He gave me a clean slate and He spoke tender promises and gentle truths. He took my shame, my guilt, my pride, my arrogance, and most importantly my broken heart. He gave to me a new heart that opened my eyes to who He had always intended for me to be. So now, when I look at my amazing children- I see milk and honey. It's overflowing and it's so beyond good.
Would I love to shove my new life in the faces of all those "Egyptians"? Sure. I would love to show them all that my life has become in spite of what they all believed. But, thankfully- while the old me would do it for my own pride- the new me would simply want to show how good God is and how faithful and steady and patient He has been with me. Even with "the one" who keeps wandering off. Even with "the one" who thinks she knows better. Even with "the one" who occasionally lets His guiding go in one ear and out the other.
I know I'm not the only one. I know there are so many of you who have incredible stories to tell. I encourage you to tell them. Share your story of how God has taken you out of Egypt and into a better land. There are so many who are still "the one" who desperately need to hear. They need to know there is hope. They need to know there is peace, love, grace, mercy, kindness, patience, and a new life waiting for them. Calling out to them to return to Him. Don't be ashamed of where you've come from. Don't be ashamed of the journey you've been on. There is no shame in Jesus. There is no condemnation. There is freedom in telling your story. To show who you are now is a testimony of the transforming power of God. Don't keep that to yourself. Don't hoard that grace. Be brave, little lamb, "the one" might be listening.
