Ok, ladies, it's time for truth. Please know that I come from a place of love. There is no judgment or condemnation- just truth. God has recently been calling me out to be more honest with people as far as giving them godly advice. I am being taught to stop worrying about offending anyone, and just concern myself with being true to God and His Word.
Here's the truth...I care about your marriages. Deeply. I care about how your husbands treat you and I care about you being honored and loved and cherished as God does for you. But, I know your husbands, and I care about them too. I care about how you are treating, loving, honoring, and cherishing them. Because, as special as you are to the Father.. they are too.
I know if my husband were to be attracted to another woman, it would kill me. It might not make sense to some people, and maybe some people just don't want to admit it because it will make them seem close minded. But, the reality is, when my husband used to look at porn (porno movies, pictures, r rated movies and TV shows with incredibly explicit sexual and nude scenes) it made me feel like he was having an affair. My stomach would twist in knots and my heart would ache. I would get infuriated at the images my imagination would concoct. My husband drooling over another woman. My husband looking at another woman's body in order to get his sexual satisfaction. The idea of my husband lusting after another woman- I don't care who she is or how unattainable she might be- makes me want to kill him. And her. And everyone.
Knowing how it would make me feel for him to betray me (even in his mind), then why on earth would I do it him?! I have made a strong point to avoid pornography at all its sources. The thing is, for women, it comes in the form of more innocent "sheep's clothing". Books (Fifty Shade of Grey, I'm looking at YOU), romance novels (making sex pretty doesn't cover up the fact that it is still sex), television shows, and movies (That's right girls.... Magic Mike).
Why do we, as women, think it's ok to do what we know kills us for our men to do? My Facebook newsfeed has been littered with pictures of Channing Tatum for the last couple of months. My friends (God loving, serving, wonderful, amazing women) who I happen to know love their husbands very much, are posting pictures of this half naked man and drooling about how incredible he is. He is so close being in Savannah, we MUST go find him and ogle him... Really?! I know your husbands are on Facebook too. I know if this is making me cringe... it must be KILLING him!
If your husband were posting half naked pictures of Megan Fox, looking at the camera with her bedroom eyes and biting her lip... commenting on how sexy he thinks she is and raving about wanting to meet her and touch her and get a picture with her... it would kill you. You would be an insecure mess crying out about how disrespectful your husband is. It would twist your stomach in knots and you would want to kill him. And her. And everyone.
Pastor Alan said a couple years ago in a marriage series (maybe we need a refresher course, Alan?) about who we have eyes for. Our 'type'. He said, if when you married your wife, she was skinny and blonde- then skinny and blonde is your 'type'. If 2 years later, she is average build and brunette- then average build and brunette is your 'type'. Fast forward 10 years later and she is now thicker with red hair. Guess what? Thicker with red hair is now your 'type'. This doesn't just apply to our men, ladies. It applies to us too.
When I married Mike, he had hair. I liked men with hair. In fact, I never had dated a bald guy and I never wanted to. I just wasn't attracted to them. Well, my husband today is a very sexy bald man. And I am so crazy attracted to him. And in 10 years, I will be attracted to whatever it is he looks like.... because I only have eyes for him.
I refuse to make my husband feel unattractive by drooling over another man. I refuse to put doubts in his mind as to whether or not I want him. I refuse to poison my marriage by lusting after anyone else. I refuse to disrespect and dishonor my husband and my marriage in any way. I know you feel the same way. I know you would never intentionally do these things. I know you love your man, and your marriage is as sacred to you as mine is to me. I know you are a woman after God's heart and I know you are growing in your faith and relationship with him. I know, because I see it. I see you changing and growing and becoming everything God intended for you to be. And I hope you will remember that I love you and I care about you and your marriage. I am here to help, support, and encourage you on this walk.
Matthew 5:28 ESV
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Ps.. ^^^ Applies to us women too....
